some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
