remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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