For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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