pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
