Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you win again, gameday.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
