For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
