Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
