She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
