She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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