well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
