where am i from again
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
