dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
