Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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