so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
