the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
