Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
