I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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