I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I think a kid would responsible me up
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
