but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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