C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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