Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
