I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
