i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
false alarm, still single
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