I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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