Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
What a dumb baby whore.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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