I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
