babies were throwing up all over the place
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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