Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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