Swine flu. Run for my life!
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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