boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
