i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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