You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
