These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
