if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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