I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
