u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
