I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
