How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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