Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
