A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
