Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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