The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I want you more than these girls want KFC
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
