508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
