sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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