i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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