Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
