guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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