so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
