He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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