Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
