The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Shitshow foam night was such a success
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
