think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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