check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
