are you still at the devil's house?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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